2.5 weeks in

It could be the gorgeous weather we've been having.

It could be the new routine we've developed.

It could be the chemical response to all of the exercise I've been doing.

It could be the amazing boyfriend and supportive family that I have.

Or it could be none of these things. Whatever the reason, my depression seems to have subsided for the last few weeks. I am a procrastinator by nature and so even though I mostly agreed with all of you that I should at least speak to a doctor about medication, I kept putting it off. Instead I've just been focusing on getting healthier and loosing weight. Personally, I think that's what has helped me the most.

I joined the Y 17 days ago and since then I have been 15 times. I can already tell the difference in my endurance and strength. It's amazing! I do a ball fit class each week and another class using the bosu ball. Both can be pretty challenging, and I like them because they let me focus on toning and strength. The rest of the week, I pretty much just do cardio either on the elliptical, treadmill or bike.

There is a 90 minute time limit on the child minding service so once I drop the kids off, I change my shoes quickly and get at it because my minimum goal each day is to burn 500 calories and depending on what Im doing, I usually need at least an hour. The elliptical is great for burning calories fast but I don't really feel like its engaging many muscles. Sometimes I try to sit back with my arms stationary and just use my feet because then I can at least feel it in my butt and thighs.

I want to start the C25K program but Im a little self conscious about running on a treadmill around a bunch of other people. There are a few others that are larger like me, but most of the people that I've seen are quite fit. I don't mind it so much with anything else that I do there, but Im worried that if I set the speed so that Im jogging, I'll end up having to jump off or quit after a few seconds and look like a tool. I know its silly because I can walk pretty fast on it with a decent incline and that doesn't even raise my heart rate above about 70%. When I'm on the elliptical my heart rate stays above 80% for the full half hour and Im fine. I don't know. My head tells me I would be OK but my social anxiety keeps kicking in and I can't bring myself to do it. Maybe if I give myself a definite goal and day to start. Like maybe next Monday? We'll see.

So I'm doing well. Michael loves going every morning so even on those days where I don't feel like it, I still end up going because he wants to go so badly. Even when I don't have the kids, I seem to have the motivation to keep going, which is refreshing. On Sunday I put Josiah in the stroller and we went for a two hour walk with some pretty challenging hills. By the time I got home, I had walked 7 kms and we only came home because Josiah was fussy and wanted to nap. Next time I'm going to try for 10kms. Um....wow, I never thought I'd be excited to try to walk 10kms for the hell of it!

Me after a work out: