Sunday, December 26, 2010

Our complicated family tree.

Ok, so I had another post in mind but I realised that in order to really explain it, you would have to understand our complicated family tree. So I thought I might as well do a post about how our little family came to be because, without actually checking my archives, I don't believe I've ever explained it all before.

So, lets begin with me.

There's my parents:

Dad, oldest of two children, married once before with a son named David (who has two teenage daughters who were adopted/put into foster care)

Mom, youngest of four children

They had:

Will, not married, no children

Chris, two children from previous relationships, engaged with two more children

Myself, we'll get to me later

Morgan, separated, two daughters

Sam, not married, no children

This is where it gets complicated.

So I have:

Micah, born when I was 18, fathered by William (raised in foster care with no link to biological family and who has never been in the picture), grew up knowing about William but calling Chris dad

Noah, fathered by Chris (moved out when Noah was 3 for the final time)

Jamie, fathered by Chris (Jamie was about 6 months old when Chris left)

Owen, fathered by Andrew (disappeared when he found out I was pregnant, has one brother and an 8 year old daughter, whom Owen has met)

Did you get all that?

Now for the fathers:

William lives in another province and has not kept in contact since we moved to our current province. He has emailed once or twice but disappears just as quickly. He is basically non-existent for our family other than Micah's knowledge of another dad.

Chris and I were together from just after Micah's first birthday (2002) until we finally called it quits in 2007. The day after he moved out, he met Patti, his now fiance and mother to his two daughters. These daughters are biologically related to Noah and Jamie, though Micah is also included as Chris' son. These three visit their dad (and extended family) twice/month, which is the schedule that he has chosen.

Andrew. There isn't much to say about Andrew as most of what I know about him, I found out from his ex, J(mother of his daughter). I found her on facebook using the little info I had about his daughter, once he split. I emailed her and we've been talking ever since. Neither of us have heard from or seen Andrew since 2008. J knows his family and hears the odd rumor, but we've both accepted what kind of man he is and instead are actively encouraging a bond between her daughter and Owen. Next year, she'll be moving to the same city where I currently live so hopefully the kids will get a lot more time together.

And then there's Jason. He isn't biologically related to any of the children, but is a father for Owen. He and I started dating when Owen was about 7 months old and he just moved out last month. He takes Owen for a night every weekend and visits him usually twice each week.

Chris's family consists of two sisters and his parents. His mother calls every now and then and asks to take the boys for an afternoon. She's also the one person I can rely on to show up to any of the boys school/church performances. The boys see their grandparents every time they visit their dad. I don't know as much about their aunts/uncles/cousins. I know that one set lives in another province and so they don't see a lot of each other, but they might see the other family once/month or so. His fiance Patti on the other hand, seems to make every effort not to be home when the boys visit and is usually with the girls at her parents home in another town. The boys, as far as I know have zero relationship with Patti's parents.

Jason's family consists of a father and sister whom he barely speaks to and who live on the opposite side of the country, and his mother who lives four hours away. He visits (with Owen) his mother usually every holiday when he has time off of work. His mother also visits him every couple of months. During these visits, Owen is always included and his mother has begun to see Owen as her grandchild. She is also quite nice to the other boys and has even bought them Christmas gifts this year.

So, congratulations if you've followed that! With a family situation like mine, things can sure get interesting!

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