To Clarify

I realised after I published the last post that if anyone does happen to read this then they may be a bit confused about my situation. So to clarify, at least partly:

The kids last summer at our local botanical gardens

• I have four children, all boys
  
• The first was born when I was 18 and his dad didn't want to be a dad
  
• When I was 19 I met my ex-husband who I then had two more children with
  
• When our third was only a few months old, the Ex moved out
  
• Somehow I managed to find myself pregnant again when my third turned one but this time with a guy I hadn't been seeing very long
  
• The guy disappeared when I told him
  
• Baby number four was born July 2008 and I haven't spoken with his dad since Dec 2007
  
• Ex Husband is engaged and had a baby girl in June 2008 (2 wks before mine was born)
  
• All the kids live with me and the three oldest visit the Ex

I also realise that this post opens me up for a whole lot of judgement and criticism. I am prepared for the first however I will not accept the second. I am writing here for myself, as a benefit to me. I have chosen to be completely honest about my situation and the mistakes and choices that I have made in the past. If you can not accept me and only want to criticise then please move along, no one is forcing you to read.

After the Fact

My ex-mom-in-law and I didn't really get along all the while I was with her son. It wasn't as if she was particularly mean or anything, we just never really felt comfortable with each other. We were pleasant none the less and we certainly got along better than FIL and I did, like times a million. After the break up though things got worse long before they got better. After about a year or so of her son being an ass however, she started to turn around a little bit.

Whats so great now is that she actually steps in and gives me a break, like all the time. Our custody arrangement is pretty pathetic as the Ex only takes the kids Sundays from 10-4 and comes by our house Wednesday evenings with his fiance for about a half hour. If that wasn't bad enough, the guy pretty much stopped coming Wednesdays when his new daughter was born at the end of June. But then to my surprise in comes MIL to pick up the kids and take them out for an afternoon before depositing them back to me with full bellies and lots of fun stories. She even makes sure Michael doesn't have a nap so he'll actually go to bed on time. The Ex doesn't even do that on Sundays so my Sunday nights are HELL. The greatest thing about all of this though is that the ex-MIL does this every single week, even twice sometimes. Take today for example. The kids are at the mall right now surely running around causing all sorts of trouble and I don't have to deal with it. I mean I feel a little bad for the 60+ year old woman that has to chase them, but hell I gave her a stroller for the little one so at least she is mobile.

The really sad part that has me dreading the rest of the summer is that this woman is leaving for a whole month to visit her daughter in Ontario. I have no idea how I am going to manage having all four of them for 96% of every week until at least Rayden goes back to school and (hopefully) Chris starts preschool. I can barely manage a weekly trip to the grocery store with the babe as it is. I don't know, maybe Im just being overly worried about nothing. I did handle three kids all by myself and the youngest of them was only a babe, so whats one more?