Link up

Im participating in a link up today at Kelly's Korner for working moms. Since my life is so crazy with #5 being only 2.5 months old and lots of work hours I haven't been updating the blog like I should.

So for anyone who is visiting from KK, Hello! Im a 30 year old mom of four boys and an infant girl, living in Newfoundland, Canada. I work from home as a children's event planner full time and a business manager (for my husband's company) part time. Trying to find 45 hours each week for work between school runs, household duties, extra curriculars and breastfeeding is my challenge right now.

hehe!

Our children attend three local public schools where they are in the French Immersion program. Homeschooler, I am not. Thankful for the opportunity to stay home with my littles, I am.

Baby Lillian

Well that was definitely an unplanned blogging break. I just wanted to stop by quickly today and introduce the newest member of our clan, Lillian Elle Marie:

She was born 5 days late on July 25th at 6:50pm. She weighed 9lbs 9 oz and was definitely the most difficult labor of all my children. Perhaps Ill write her birth story one day.

21.5 weeks

As I had predicted, I missed last week's pregnancy update. Though there really wasn't much to say.

Im 21.5 weeks today and other than baby movements, I don't feel very pregnant. I still only see the doctor every 4 weeks, so between appointments, I just go about my daily life. My energy is mostly normal these days, though if my sleep is interrupted at all, I have a really hard time.

One thing I have noticed, is that my usual food preferences have returned. I've always just kind of eaten what I wanted. There have been times in my life where Im satisfied with half a sandwich or a yogurt for lunch and other times where I find myself going to the fridge two or three times in an hour. I eat what looks good and listen to how much my body wants.

During the beginning of every pregnancy, my appetite has always dropped. I spend the first few months eating quite healthy because those are the foods my body is craving. Between the two preferences, I always feel like Im doing really good. During this pregnancy, I couldn't stand to drink any pop or eat any junk food. Coffee, ice cream and large portions went out the window.

But now it's all back! Waaahh!

I was happy to be free of those food preferences and to be eating healthier. It bothers me that I prefer now to grab a can of coke than a bottle of water. Hopefully this too will pass and Ill get back to wanting real food again.

My eating is not what this post is supposed to be about though! Last week we went to get an ultrasound done again of baby because we couldn't get the measurements we needed the first time. When the tech finished up, I asked her what gender she thought the baby might be. During all 20 or so ultrasounds I've had in the past, I've always been asked if I wanted to know. This tech said that because I didn't mention it, she didn't even look! I was like, oh heck no! We wanna know! And, the results are........

closed legs and a cord in the way!

 

 

Not really! Well, actually yes, but she also saw a little somethin' and pronounced us to be having a little girl!!! We are soooo excited and can't wait to welcome baby Lillian this summer!

Frumpy

Lately I've been thinking more about the way I look. I've never been one to care too much, but I guess being at home so often and being pregnant has gotten me into a bit of a funk.

With that being said, the first time Jason came to my house, I was wearing pjs. Really. Maybe it's not so much of a recent issue...

So, this morning when I came across To Love Honor and Vacuum's challenge to "Fight the Frump," I knew it was something I should probably take part in. So “I’m fighting the frump at To Love, Honor and Vacuum this week!”

Some of the things that Sheila will be talking about (body shape, proper fitting bras, etc) aren't necessarily for me, but I think I've come up with a few ideas of my own. Today is confession day, so behold, my typical Monday morning look:

 

Super long hair and plain, grey, men's sweater

 

Grey sweat pants and fuzzy socks

I am NOT a morning person. Our typical week day mornings consist of my getting the two middle kids up and dressed, while Jason gets himself ready for work and wakes the oldest. Then I pack lunches and make breakfast while Jason gets Owen dressed and downstairs. We get the kids cleaned up and make a run for the door for hopefully 7:20. Then I spend a little more than an hour driving everyone where they need to be. Seriously, it takes an insane amount of time to drive to two schools and Jason's work.

By the time Owen and I get home, it's 8:30 and time for me to start my work hours. I usually rush to get Owen set up with something while I grab a bowl of cereal and sit down at my desk. If Im lucky, Ill get all of my computer stuff done within 2-3 hours and I can start to get some cleaning done before lunch.

I leave to pick up the kids at 2:30, so the afternoons are a rush of errands and anything I didn't get done in the morning. I need to spend about 5 hours each day on the business, as per my contract so I try to get most of that done during the day.  Once I leave to pick up the kids though, all bets are off. It takes about 45 minutes round trip because Micah is finished 20 minutes earlier than his brothers. By the time we're home, I have about 45-50 minutes to deal with the school papers, get the boys started on homework and chores and put supper on. After that, I make a mad dash to pick up Jay for 4:30 and come home to feed the clan.

Really, I just feel like Im constantly rushing around from the time I wake to the time I get supper on the table.

BUT, I know that time isn't my issue. I can find 10-15 minutes in my day to do my hair, put on some decent clothes, deal with nails or eyebrows, put on a bit of makeup or jewelery. I can find time to pick up properly fitting clothes to deal with my ever expanding belly. I can make an appointment to get my hair done more than once per year. I just choose not to.

I am definitely guilty of thinking that because Im home and doing the kinds of things that Im doing, that I don't need to look good. But that's so wrong.

Jason, is a perfect gentleman in this area. He would never tell me outright that there was something about my appearance that bothers him. So, with that in mind, I've started a few discussions with him over the last year to get an idea of where he thinks I need to improve. He's so silly though.

The only thing that came out of the first talk was my winter coat. He said it looks like a man's coat and it really bothers him.  This was last year and I had every intention of buying something different for this winter. But then I was pregnant and it was a little too easy to talk myself out of it given my changing shape. Really though, I should have just gone and gotten something more feminine. If nothing else than to show him that his opinion matters.

Our most recent talk focused more on my actual appearance and I was happy to hear he and I were on the same page with most of it. My hair hasn't been cut since my bridal shower 10 months ago. It's long and damaged and just needs some attention. This was the top item on Jason's list. Following that were the typical buying myself the clothing I need instead of wearing his or looking frumpy, buying new shoes when I need them and not just whatever bargain shoes I can get away with and finally, loosing some weight. Now, I know some women would take issue with a husband saying this but it really is true. I was nearly 230lbs when I became pregnant. I KNOW I need to make changes and get healthier and I really don't have a problem with him telling me so. I know he loves me regardless and finds me attractive either way.

So after all of that, I definitely think I need to be a part of this challenge this week. Hop on over and join us.

Struggles

On the way to school this morning the boys in the back seat started a conversation about their future careers. I guess this got Jamie to thinking because he then started to come up with a plan on how he was going to move his stuff out of our house. He figured that he would just box up all those small child-sized clothes that he wears now and bring them with him for his kids. Kinda smart, I thought.

Then! Oh my, then he starts talking about how he will find a home without a daddy so that he can move there and be the daddy. My heart broke.

My little 6 year old's view of becoming a father is moving in with a family.

It's obvious how this happened, but I hadn't realised that this was his view. The Ex and I broke up when I was pregnant with Jamie. We spent some time trying to reconcile after the birth but by the time Jamie was about 6 months, The Ex had moved on and was in a new relationship. Unfortunately that new relationship was responsible for a lot of the breakdown in my boys' relationship with their father. Where he used to be attentive and involved, he would only bother to see them once every week or two. Where he used to be the fun, silly parent he was now strict in creating rules in his new home. A lot of this was due to him living with his g/f who didn't have children and who was afraid he would leave her and come back to his family. It took a long time for them to work out these issues and by then, the boys had lost their father.

We were a family ourselves, but I always knew they were hurting. Their uncles would help in some ways, staying involved so that they would have men around, but it wasn't enough. They missed their dad. Through all of it though, I hadn't considered how much this situation was shaping their worldview. Jason moved in last year after we were engaged. At the time, James had just turned 5. I believe the marriage and our constant vigilance regarding the issue has allowed some healing and now 3 of the 4 boys call Jason Daddy. Micah is holding off but he is so starved for male affection that despite his best efforts, he is coming around. He and Jason spend a lot of time watching guy movies or shows or playing video games. It's their bonding time and hopefully with time and effort, they will have the father/son relationship they need.

I was sad for Jamie when he talked about his plans this morning. But after having a chance to think it over, Im more grateful that he now has a Daddy that can show him how to really be a man and a father one day.

19 weeks

Im 19 weeks, plus two days today.

I finally received our wedding pictures Saturday, so I spent all weekend going through them and posting to facebook. This is why Im a little late with my update. Who can blame me though? I mean Wedding Pictures!

Our ultrasound was Friday morning and of course, we had a storm come through the night before. We woke up to unplowed roads and no school. We made it though and had only a short wait, I guess because of cancellations.

Baby was really uncooperative though as most of the images were really hard to see. The tech printed off two pictures for us, but even she was disappointed with the quality. You can see the little peanut in the picture above though, so I'll proudly display this one until we can get a better one.

Some of the measurements were impossible to get so they had me walk around for an hour and eat a snack to try to get baby to move. Nothing seemed to work though so I get to go back for a bonus ultrasound next week. Despite the hassle of getting there first thing in the morning and dealing with child care and school issues, we are happy to see the baby again. Even moreso since baby had it's legs crossed during the entire exam!

18 weeks

Finally! 18 weeks is always the time I wait for during the first half of pregnancy. I know that gender can be determined a little earlier, but I've always had my ultrasounds at 18 weeks. This one is set for Friday morning so I still have 6 days to go, but still, we're finally here! Yay!

Baby is apparently the size of a sweet pepper at this point, though given my weight I really can't tell. I don't normally gain much weight during pregnancy and actually usually end up weighing less once baby is born. This pregnancy doesn't seem to be much different, though I conceived 20lbs heavier than I have ever been before. Im not really sure what happened, but a few years ago, I ballooned over a period of less than a year, gaining about 65 lbs. I don't worry too much about my weight but I have to admit, it's gotten to be a bit much.

The last time I weighed myself was before our honeymoon. At that time I was 228 lbs which is what I've been for at least a year. Once I found out I was pregnant, I weighed myself again and came in at 222. I've dipped down to around 215 while sick, but overall, I stay right around 222. So, even though baby is indeed growing, my size has made seeing any changes in my belly, impossible.

I can feel the movements quite strong, though Jay can't feel them from the outside. It's a little sad that I can't share this with him yet. He, like me was a little upset when we first found out, worried about what this means for the children we already have. Thankfully though, he's come around and is excited, even impatient, for this new little one.

We're both hoping for a girl, Jay even going so far as to ask what shade of pink we should paint the nursery!  Hopefully everything will go well on Friday and we'll have the chance to see our littlest member, and maybe even it's gender too.

My Mom Game

While sick last week, I didn't even bring the kids to school for three straight days.

In light of this, I was a little apprehensive when planning the current week's schedule. Tuesday was pancake day, Wednesday the 100th day of school for the middle two and today is Valentines day. Just getting us back into the routine of packing lunches and leaving on time would have probably been sufficient, but so not fun!

So I trucked along with my plans. I bought eggs on Tuesday and made sure we had some yummy bacon. I didn't go so far as to put coins in our pancakes (I find that weird), but we had whipped cream and berries to go with. The kids enjoyed eating breakfast for dinner and I enjoyed feeling like I was back on my mom game.

I put some of the extra pancake batter into a squeeze bottle that evening and pre-made some "100" shaped pancakes for breakfast the next morning. Micah's should have really said "99," but he didn't mind! We also peeled and stuck 100 little stones onto shirts for the boys. Definitely proud of pulling that one off!

Wednesday ended up being super easy with the premade pancakes and t-shirts. Anything else the kids were doing for their 100th day celebrations were strictly in-class, so I was off the hook. I did however, make sure to pull out the heart shaped egg pans for this morning and to buy some fun cookies for their lunches.

James woke me up early this morning so I was able to pack lunches and set the table before anyone else stirred. The eggs cooked up quick and the kids were all smiles with their little treats at the table. I even remembered to send along the valentines we've been putting together over the last few weeks for the middle boys and Micah's 100th day lego project.

As for my sweetie, we made sure to leave 10 minutes earlier this morning so we could stop and get him a coffee from Tim Hortons. He always enjoys that in the mornings but we're usually too rushed and I hate spending the $. It sure makes for an easy way to show him I love him though, when we do make the effort.

Now that it's all said and done, I can breath a sigh of relief and say we made it! We'll have some heart-sprinkled cupcakes for dessert tonight and Jay and I will hang out together but otherwise, this week and it's special days has been accomplished!

17 Weeks

Ideally, I would have posted this on Saturday, but The Sick had firmly implanted itself in my body and I was not able to do much of anything.

The day I wrote the last post, so a whole 10 days ago, I started to feel sick. Owen had come down with something suddenly the day before, so I was next in line. By Monday afternoon I was curled up on the couch, dreading the drive to pick up my boys from school. Tuesday had me asking Jason not to work late because I couldn't fathom going out in the cold at 8pm to pick him up. The kids even had to fend for themselves for supper that night!

Wednesday to Friday were so bad, I kept all the kids home from school, simply because I couldn't trust myself to drive. Koodos to those moms who find the strength to make lunches and send their kids off when they're sick. Im definitely not one of them. Jason even left work Thursday morning because I called him crying. It was that bad!

Thankfully, I seem to be mostly over it at this point. I have a nose that wont stop running and I tire easily, but those are normal pregnancy symptoms anyway. So, for the pregnancy:

Baby #5 is about the size of an onion this week, or 5 inches from head to bum (that's a big onion!). He/she has been a bit more active; now when I lay down at night or in the early morning, I can feel the movements unmistakably. There was one morning where baby must have totally flipped because I had that big whoosh feeling. So cool!

My ultrasound is still more than a week away so I try to not think of the pregnancy too much. Im a planner and I know that as soon as I find out what we're having, Im going to go into planning mode. Ha! Just to give you an idea of how much of a planner I am, I already have a Baby Meet and Greet SCHEDULED and PLANNED for August. I have invites picked out, a theme, decorations, a date, etc. Actually, I have a boy theme and a girl theme, so I'll be able to really get that going soon!

Seriously though, our house isn't ready for another baby. We have four bedrooms and there's already 6 people in them. The oldest and the youngest kids have their own rooms while the middle two share. ALL of the bedrooms are small though and so we're really not sure where to fit another person. We assumed that while baby was small, we would just have him/her in our room but we are really reconsidering that. There may end up being a whole room rearrangement, depending on the gender, so that's definitely something that Im anxious to get decided.

Otherwise, we're just movin' along. Im thankful to be in the second trimester where things are quiet ,but anxious to get a little further.

16 weeks

Im thinking that maybe Ill do an update each week, as this pregnancy progresses. With my blogging history though, let's not depend on that too much!

Im 16 weeks as of Today which firmly plants me in the second trimester. Im still a little uneasy regarding miscarriage because it would have been around this time that I lost my 3rd pregnancy 8 years ago. There are absolutely no signs that this will happen but it's how my mind works.

Im feeling really good and have been for awhile. The first indication that I was pregnant was how yucky I was feeling back in the fall but thankfully that went away in December. Ever since, it's been pretty smooth sailing. I get tired in the early afternoons and nap when I can, but that's not too often ;)

Mentally I've noticed a change though. I no longer have the focus that I had regarding almost anything. I find it hard to spend hours on my computer writing content for my website or putting together inspiration boards for parties. The things that I would normally have enjoyed feel like a burden and I end up doing bits and pieces throughout the day. This may become a problem given that my business is so new that it needs a lot of time investment right now.

As for baby, he/she is a wiggly little one. I've heard the heartbeat twice now but both times it was moving so much the doc had a hard time keeping with it. I've started to feel little flutters but nothing big enough to be a definite kick.

Baby should be measuring about 10cm from head to bum or about the size of an avocado. It's fun to think that most of this baby is already formed at this point, but just needs to grow and fine tune!

I'm still just shy of three weeks before we get to find out what we're having. The waiting is the most difficult part and Im just hoping that these next few weeks fly by.

Mondays

Don't you just love a Monday morning? No?

 

Im far from a morning person and have a hard time getting out of bed to my alarm.Mondays however, are my favorite days.

 

After spending the weekend with my guys, socializing, running errands, eating well, meeting friends and marking things off our to-do list, Im ready for routine. I find myself enjoying the quiet of just one little while I get some cleaning done and start tackling my work.

 

Even with the constant interruptions from Owen who is bored and missing his brothers, Mondays are still my favorite day of the week.

First Day

Owen had his first session of Kinderstart today.

 

In our province, kids attend 4-6 Kinderstart sessions the year prior to attending Kindergarten. It allows them to meet their new teacher, see their classroom, get a feel for what their days will be like and interact with the other children. We didn't have anything like it where I grew up, but it really is a fantastic program in terms of transition.

In the hour that Owen was there he played with a stamp set and did some building with blocks. Then had a bit of circle/story time, followed by station activities. He was able to finish all the crafts/ assignments before the time was up but the poor kid was tired. By the end of it, all he wanted to do was sit on Daddy's lap while the other kids sang a goodbye song. Perhaps we'll work on taking our time when doing things in the future! ;)

#5

For any readers on facebook, you probably already know that Jason and I are expecting. Surprise!

Honestly, we didn't plan to have any children together. I already have four and we both felt that was enough. Life apparently happened though and we're expecting a new addition in July. The fun part being that this little one is apparently a honeymoon baby, but lets not tell him/her that.

In about a month we'll know if we're having a fifth boy or our first girl. Im routing for the girl, but I know how this goes so Im waiting to see. How cute would little pink dresses be though?

Slow Down

The speed at which 2012 seemed to pass was acceptable to me. Jason and I got engaged in December of 2011 and had a 10 month engagement. Add in the children and we had a busy year. Throughout it all, I kept saying, "let's just get past the wedding." Re-enrolling the kids in taekwondo? After the wedding. Christmas shopping? After the wedding. Home repairs? After the wedding.

Well the wedding came and went, oh about 3.5 months ago. We spent the month following it with thanksgiving, our honeymoon in Italy, Halloween and celebrating Jamie's birthday. Before we knew it, Christmas was around the corner and I was definitely overwhelmed. Winter is Jason's busy time at work and he could literally work 18 hour days, 7 days a week, if he wanted. Which he did, sometimes.

But the madness of 2012 is over. We're almost a solid month into 2013 and things should be slowing down. But they're not.

My business (that I thought about starting last spring) was finally put in motion earlier this month. I've jumped through a lot of hoops in the last 8 months to get to this point, but we're finally here and Im so excited. I get to spend my days alternating between the computer (where the majority of my work takes place, for now), entertaining Owen, running errands and cleaning. Don't get me wrong, this is exactly what I wanted. I just sometimes wish there were a few more hours in the day to get it all done!

For those interested, here's the link to my new business website: www.cherished-moments.ca It's still under construction so the links don't actually go anywhere, but the web designer is working on it so hopefully soon!