My new obsession

No, not Jason...

So something I haven't mentioned on here yet is that Jason and I are getting married. He proposed on December 9th and we quickly followed that up with ring shopping. He was able to pick up my engagement ring later in the month and we made it official on Christmas morning.

So now, ever since, I've been obsessed with wedding planning. We're getting married in the fall so there really isn't much time to put everything together. I know that many people have smaller engagements but some have much longer ones too!

Many of the vendors we've contacted were already booked for our date and we lost out on our chosen venue by two days. It's been tough. We've safely navigated through those problems and tomorrow will secure our reception venue. Until then, I'll leave you with some of my inspiration pics that I've been happily pinning!

Three year old love

On Saturday, Owen was watching me get ready for his cousin's birthday party. Everyone else was ready and I was just finishing up my mascara when he starts in with "...go Mommy go! Go Mommy Go! Good job, Mommy."

Nothing like a little encouragement from a three year old.

So apparently I still have work to do

Source

I thought that once I decided to come back to blogging and actually posted such on here that I would keep up with it. Daily. Uh? That was two days ago!

I started a post, got one paragraph in and then haven't been back since.


So, let's try this again. For at least this week and next, I have my mornings free to blog while the two littles are busy with their toys and things. I'll be sure to use this time to get back into the groove of writing blog posts.


As any blogger knows, writing for a blog is different than writing for another medium. Thinking in posts is something that happened to me when this little corner was being visited hundreds more times each day than it is now. Obviously, there's a correlation there somewhere! :)


My goal while I re-build is to post more often then once each day but for now, Ill settle for a regular morning post. Sound good?

Back

It has obviously been awhile since I blogged regularly. Working full time outside the home proved to be more difficult than I had experienced before, especially without a partner.

Things are very different now in ways I can't begin to explain in a single post. So for now, I will say that I am back. I now have a large amount of time that I can work with to fit blogging into and I am excited to see what that means for this little old blog. My other blog decidedly domestic will also see some new activity as I pour a little more energy into preserving my family history and connecting with the online community that I cherish so much.

It's good to be back!

TEN?

Where to even begin? There really is so much going on that I never really get around to writing about it, though I really WANT to!

I've actually resorted to typing this at work! It's a Friday afternoon and no other staff are here for the rest of the day, so I might as well. I'll have my work all finished by the time I go home, barring any unforeseen circumstances, so why not? :)

Micah's 10th birthday was this past Monday. Having a summer birthday has never been all that easy for him as he usually ends up not having a party at all or having it in a different month. This year we had planned to do a party in early July, right after school got out for the summer. Because of finances and our terrible weather this year (seriously) he agreed to postpone it. Fast forward to his actual birthday and he had other plans. No longer was he content with a party, now he wanted the MONEY that I would have paid for a party!!

Didn't happen.

Instead, I took a couple hours off Monday morning so we could be lazy. I made bacon and eggs at his request for breakfast and then took the kids to daycare. Early in the afternoon his Grandma (The Ex's mom) picked him up and spent the day shopping. He had spent the previous day with his dad's family where he received his gifts, so Grandma wasn't spending any more. Micah used all of his own money. He came home around 6 that evening and we headed out again with his friend Lucas to see a movie (Captain America, which sucked by the way). Then there was cake back at home but by that point I think we were all spent. I sent the littles to bed and Micah and I set up his new mini (I mean the 10.1") netbook. He skyped with Nanny (My mom who's currently living in the US) for awhile and then went to bed. All in all, I think he had an OK birthday. He was super excited about his gifts and had fun with everyone.

Now mama needs a glass of wine and maybe a pep-talk for getting through these next few pre-teen years.

Aware

Though Ive been incredibly slack with my devotional time lately, I've noticed an increasing awareness of God in my everyday moments. It was only a little over a year ago that I began attending church again and 9 months ago that I fully committed myself to Christ. I've gone from living a life of anger, hate and hurts to truly knowing the grace of God and His peace that comes from a personal relationship with Him.

How truly blessed I am.

At least a hundred times each day I find myself face to face with His Truths, my sin, His Grace, my ugly, His Love, my inadequacy, His Teaching, my faults, His Peace. Everywhere I turn and in everything I do, there He is guiding me, teaching me, holding my hand. His gentle prodding has created a new me. Without my even being aware of it, I have become someone new.

Of course, I still have my faults. I am human and that is our nature. I yell and get angry more often than I should. I feel cheated and want to strike back when I feel someone is asking too much of me. I say 'no' when really all I should be saying is 'yes.' We are commanded to give of ourselves, to take up our cross. Follow the example of Jesus Himself.

I talked about this with my boys today after finding a blog post about the 'Duggar house rules.' In it they mention J.O.Y. : Jesus first, Others second, Yourself last. Even in instructing my children, My God is instructing me. I am so thankful.

Where would I be if it weren't for His Grace? What would our lives be like today if He had given up on me all those years ago (when I gave up on Him)? This is why I praise Him with every breath. Of all the hurts in this world, I know for certain that He will walk with me, gently pushing in the direction I must go. Never again do I want to be blind to His direction.

busy

Ive forgotten how hard it is to work outside of the home as a single parent. I've never actually done it before, always being either in school or living with someone. So ya, makes sense why I wouldn't remember. It's a tough situation made even worse by my crappy child care.

Im up at 6:30/7ish to get the older two and myself ready. We leave the house at 8. My goal every morning is to leave the driveway by 8:07, which usually happens, though certainly not every day. Then I have 23 minutes to drop the kids off to school and drive to the other side of our neighboring city to the church where I work.

I spend between 8:30 and 4:30 doing mostly admin work, which seems right up my alley but also a little beneath my qualifications. I have no idea how much education the pastors get but Im willing to bet that my 6 years of post secondary is probably more. Im the new person and technically only a temp so it can be rough. Most people are really great and if I can look past the normal human behavior (which does not exclude Christians) and the office politics, it's actually quite fun. There are days where there is almost nothing to do and I've occupied myself so far by cleaning out the supply/copy room, my filing cabinet and now the small groups resource room...there's probably a lot more time in my near future that could be spent this way but unfortunately Im running out of rooms to clean!

Anyway, I get off work at 4:30 and fight my way through highway traffic until I get home, usually around 5. There are a lot of days where I don't leave until 4:45 or so and then Im rushing all the more because Im sure my babysitter is eager to get home. Unfortunately when I do get home there is that much cleaning, mail, cooking, school papers/homework and children's needs to take care of, that I don't actually get to stop until I put them all in bed at 8:30. It's like I work a full two jobs every single day. And here Ive been trying to work out how to pick up a part time job to help pay the bills! Doubtful.

So here I am, at the end of one of these marathon days with two children still awake after 9pm and a mountain of laundry that should have been done on the weekend. Though Im tired, my work isn't done.

Last year when I worked outside of the home at the university, I don't remember being this stressed. I didn't take a lunch and therefore was able to leave at 3pm to pick up the kids from school. But I was also spending an extra hour each day driving Jason to and from work while we tried to get by with one vehicle. Supper still had to be cooked, cleaning still had to be done, homework and school papers still had to be completed. How did it all work then? I know Jason was here and he must have added some help but he wasn't one for doing those tasks. Maybe just by keeping the kids out of my hair he was allowing me to just move that much faster, thus being done at an earlier hour...who knew?

I didn't mean for this post to be complainy. That sucks. Ha! I kill me!

See how tired I am?

...and it's only Monday