Aware

Though Ive been incredibly slack with my devotional time lately, I've noticed an increasing awareness of God in my everyday moments. It was only a little over a year ago that I began attending church again and 9 months ago that I fully committed myself to Christ. I've gone from living a life of anger, hate and hurts to truly knowing the grace of God and His peace that comes from a personal relationship with Him.

How truly blessed I am.

At least a hundred times each day I find myself face to face with His Truths, my sin, His Grace, my ugly, His Love, my inadequacy, His Teaching, my faults, His Peace. Everywhere I turn and in everything I do, there He is guiding me, teaching me, holding my hand. His gentle prodding has created a new me. Without my even being aware of it, I have become someone new.

Of course, I still have my faults. I am human and that is our nature. I yell and get angry more often than I should. I feel cheated and want to strike back when I feel someone is asking too much of me. I say 'no' when really all I should be saying is 'yes.' We are commanded to give of ourselves, to take up our cross. Follow the example of Jesus Himself.

I talked about this with my boys today after finding a blog post about the 'Duggar house rules.' In it they mention J.O.Y. : Jesus first, Others second, Yourself last. Even in instructing my children, My God is instructing me. I am so thankful.

Where would I be if it weren't for His Grace? What would our lives be like today if He had given up on me all those years ago (when I gave up on Him)? This is why I praise Him with every breath. Of all the hurts in this world, I know for certain that He will walk with me, gently pushing in the direction I must go. Never again do I want to be blind to His direction.