It has obviously been awhile since I blogged regularly. Working full time outside the home proved to be more difficult than I had experienced before, especially without a partner.
Things are very different now in ways I can't begin to explain in a single post. So for now, I will say that I am back. I now have a large amount of time that I can work with to fit blogging into and I am excited to see what that means for this little old blog. My other blog decidedly domestic will also see some new activity as I pour a little more energy into preserving my family history and connecting with the online community that I cherish so much.
It's good to be back!
Monday, January 16, 2012
Friday, August 12, 2011
TEN?
Where to even begin? There really is so much going on that I never really get around to writing about it, though I really WANT to!
I've actually resorted to typing this at work! It's a Friday afternoon and no other staff are here for the rest of the day, so I might as well. I'll have my work all finished by the time I go home, barring any unforeseen circumstances, so why not? :)
Micah's 10th birthday was this past Monday. Having a summer birthday has never been all that easy for him as he usually ends up not having a party at all or having it in a different month. This year we had planned to do a party in early July, right after school got out for the summer. Because of finances and our terrible weather this year (seriously) he agreed to postpone it. Fast forward to his actual birthday and he had other plans. No longer was he content with a party, now he wanted the MONEY that I would have paid for a party!!
Didn't happen.
Instead, I took a couple hours off Monday morning so we could be lazy. I made bacon and eggs at his request for breakfast and then took the kids to daycare. Early in the afternoon his Grandma (The Ex's mom) picked him up and spent the day shopping. He had spent the previous day with his dad's family where he received his gifts, so Grandma wasn't spending any more. Micah used all of his own money. He came home around 6 that evening and we headed out again with his friend Lucas to see a movie (Captain America, which sucked by the way). Then there was cake back at home but by that point I think we were all spent. I sent the littles to bed and Micah and I set up his new mini (I mean the 10.1") netbook. He skyped with Nanny (My mom who's currently living in the US) for awhile and then went to bed. All in all, I think he had an OK birthday. He was super excited about his gifts and had fun with everyone.
Now mama needs a glass of wine and maybe a pep-talk for getting through these next few pre-teen years.
Friday, July 29, 2011
Aware
Though Ive been incredibly slack with my devotional time lately, I've noticed an increasing awareness of God in my everyday moments. It was only a little over a year ago that I began attending church again and 9 months ago that I fully committed myself to Christ. I've gone from living a life of anger, hate and hurts to truly knowing the grace of God and His peace that comes from a personal relationship with Him.
How truly blessed I am.
At least a hundred times each day I find myself face to face with His Truths, my sin, His Grace, my ugly, His Love, my inadequacy, His Teaching, my faults, His Peace. Everywhere I turn and in everything I do, there He is guiding me, teaching me, holding my hand. His gentle prodding has created a new me. Without my even being aware of it, I have become someone new.
Of course, I still have my faults. I am human and that is our nature. I yell and get angry more often than I should. I feel cheated and want to strike back when I feel someone is asking too much of me. I say 'no' when really all I should be saying is 'yes.' We are commanded to give of ourselves, to take up our cross. Follow the example of Jesus Himself.
I talked about this with my boys today after finding a blog post about the 'Duggar house rules.' In it they mention J.O.Y. : Jesus first, Others second, Yourself last. Even in instructing my children, My God is instructing me. I am so thankful.
Where would I be if it weren't for His Grace? What would our lives be like today if He had given up on me all those years ago (when I gave up on Him)? This is why I praise Him with every breath. Of all the hurts in this world, I know for certain that He will walk with me, gently pushing in the direction I must go. Never again do I want to be blind to His direction.
How truly blessed I am.
At least a hundred times each day I find myself face to face with His Truths, my sin, His Grace, my ugly, His Love, my inadequacy, His Teaching, my faults, His Peace. Everywhere I turn and in everything I do, there He is guiding me, teaching me, holding my hand. His gentle prodding has created a new me. Without my even being aware of it, I have become someone new.
Of course, I still have my faults. I am human and that is our nature. I yell and get angry more often than I should. I feel cheated and want to strike back when I feel someone is asking too much of me. I say 'no' when really all I should be saying is 'yes.' We are commanded to give of ourselves, to take up our cross. Follow the example of Jesus Himself.
I talked about this with my boys today after finding a blog post about the 'Duggar house rules.' In it they mention J.O.Y. : Jesus first, Others second, Yourself last. Even in instructing my children, My God is instructing me. I am so thankful.
Where would I be if it weren't for His Grace? What would our lives be like today if He had given up on me all those years ago (when I gave up on Him)? This is why I praise Him with every breath. Of all the hurts in this world, I know for certain that He will walk with me, gently pushing in the direction I must go. Never again do I want to be blind to His direction.
Monday, June 13, 2011
busy
Ive forgotten how hard it is to work outside of the home as a single parent. I've never actually done it before, always being either in school or living with someone. So ya, makes sense why I wouldn't remember. It's a tough situation made even worse by my crappy child care.
Im up at 6:30/7ish to get the older two and myself ready. We leave the house at 8. My goal every morning is to leave the driveway by 8:07, which usually happens, though certainly not every day. Then I have 23 minutes to drop the kids off to school and drive to the other side of our neighboring city to the church where I work.
I spend between 8:30 and 4:30 doing mostly admin work, which seems right up my alley but also a little beneath my qualifications. I have no idea how much education the pastors get but Im willing to bet that my 6 years of post secondary is probably more. Im the new person and technically only a temp so it can be rough. Most people are really great and if I can look past the normal human behavior (which does not exclude Christians) and the office politics, it's actually quite fun. There are days where there is almost nothing to do and I've occupied myself so far by cleaning out the supply/copy room, my filing cabinet and now the small groups resource room...there's probably a lot more time in my near future that could be spent this way but unfortunately Im running out of rooms to clean!
Anyway, I get off work at 4:30 and fight my way through highway traffic until I get home, usually around 5. There are a lot of days where I don't leave until 4:45 or so and then Im rushing all the more because Im sure my babysitter is eager to get home. Unfortunately when I do get home there is that much cleaning, mail, cooking, school papers/homework and children's needs to take care of, that I don't actually get to stop until I put them all in bed at 8:30. It's like I work a full two jobs every single day. And here Ive been trying to work out how to pick up a part time job to help pay the bills! Doubtful.
So here I am, at the end of one of these marathon days with two children still awake after 9pm and a mountain of laundry that should have been done on the weekend. Though Im tired, my work isn't done.
Last year when I worked outside of the home at the university, I don't remember being this stressed. I didn't take a lunch and therefore was able to leave at 3pm to pick up the kids from school. But I was also spending an extra hour each day driving Jason to and from work while we tried to get by with one vehicle. Supper still had to be cooked, cleaning still had to be done, homework and school papers still had to be completed. How did it all work then? I know Jason was here and he must have added some help but he wasn't one for doing those tasks. Maybe just by keeping the kids out of my hair he was allowing me to just move that much faster, thus being done at an earlier hour...who knew?
I didn't mean for this post to be complainy. That sucks. Ha! I kill me!
See how tired I am?
...and it's only Monday
Im up at 6:30/7ish to get the older two and myself ready. We leave the house at 8. My goal every morning is to leave the driveway by 8:07, which usually happens, though certainly not every day. Then I have 23 minutes to drop the kids off to school and drive to the other side of our neighboring city to the church where I work.
I spend between 8:30 and 4:30 doing mostly admin work, which seems right up my alley but also a little beneath my qualifications. I have no idea how much education the pastors get but Im willing to bet that my 6 years of post secondary is probably more. Im the new person and technically only a temp so it can be rough. Most people are really great and if I can look past the normal human behavior (which does not exclude Christians) and the office politics, it's actually quite fun. There are days where there is almost nothing to do and I've occupied myself so far by cleaning out the supply/copy room, my filing cabinet and now the small groups resource room...there's probably a lot more time in my near future that could be spent this way but unfortunately Im running out of rooms to clean!
Anyway, I get off work at 4:30 and fight my way through highway traffic until I get home, usually around 5. There are a lot of days where I don't leave until 4:45 or so and then Im rushing all the more because Im sure my babysitter is eager to get home. Unfortunately when I do get home there is that much cleaning, mail, cooking, school papers/homework and children's needs to take care of, that I don't actually get to stop until I put them all in bed at 8:30. It's like I work a full two jobs every single day. And here Ive been trying to work out how to pick up a part time job to help pay the bills! Doubtful.
So here I am, at the end of one of these marathon days with two children still awake after 9pm and a mountain of laundry that should have been done on the weekend. Though Im tired, my work isn't done.
Last year when I worked outside of the home at the university, I don't remember being this stressed. I didn't take a lunch and therefore was able to leave at 3pm to pick up the kids from school. But I was also spending an extra hour each day driving Jason to and from work while we tried to get by with one vehicle. Supper still had to be cooked, cleaning still had to be done, homework and school papers still had to be completed. How did it all work then? I know Jason was here and he must have added some help but he wasn't one for doing those tasks. Maybe just by keeping the kids out of my hair he was allowing me to just move that much faster, thus being done at an earlier hour...who knew?
I didn't mean for this post to be complainy. That sucks. Ha! I kill me!
See how tired I am?
...and it's only Monday
Saturday, May 14, 2011
may reads
I never used to understand how people could read multiple books at one time, but it seems that Im now one of those people. I enjoy reading and have books that fit my many different moods. Somehow it works.
So what Im reading for the month of May (all pics from Amazon):
Of course my bible
I happend across this series a few months ago at our library and I really like it. Im actually sad when I have to wait to go get another one. Ive finished both of these this month and just dropped them back off. :(
This one is right up my alley in so many ways. Maybe it's my sociology coming out, or my work in female empowerment or possibly just my humanity. The statistics are blunt and the stories are both heart-wrenching and hopeful. Definitely a recommended read for anyone.
A friend sent this book to me. It's actually four books, and it's too bad the picture doesn't actually show how thick it is. I've read only the first book "black." Definity not something I would choose for myself, but it's well written and so I can see myself finishing it. Probably not this month though.
This is a book Im sure most people have heard of and recommend. I couldn't stand it. Maybe it's because I only gave it a couple of hours but it just didnt do it for me. I would return it to the library but I have no idea where it is...sucky because I just got an overdue notice.These next few dont get read as often, but I keep around so Ill pick them up when the mood strikes.
As someone who has never read the entire bible, I like that this book points me to scripture I might not otherwise have read. It's an easy read too so it's nice to have in my purse for those unexpected moments with nothing to do.
I dont even know where to start with this one. Ive been reading it for months. Its heavy and contradicts some of my natural tendencies so it's something I dont usually grab. I do want to read it though, just not in a rushed way. It's the kind of book that deserves your full attention; kinda like when I was back at university and took a course in HKR...so much focus required!
Ive got a few of these books, each one focusing on a different aspect of mothering. I picked them up in Portugal though they're published in Canada. The conference I was speaking at was organized by the same people who are involved with this journal. Definitely academic.
There's also a book that we're reading at work. I know I haven't yet discussed what it is Im now doing but Ill get to that in the next couple of days. The book is called "Incarnate Leadership" and we're almost through. We spend the first half hour of our weekly staff meetings doing a little study where we discuss each chapter. Being the new person and the lowest in rank, I dont contribute much. I would have added a pic, but blogger kinda sucks right now.
As someone who has never read the entire bible, I like that this book points me to scripture I might not otherwise have read. It's an easy read too so it's nice to have in my purse for those unexpected moments with nothing to do.
I dont even know where to start with this one. Ive been reading it for months. Its heavy and contradicts some of my natural tendencies so it's something I dont usually grab. I do want to read it though, just not in a rushed way. It's the kind of book that deserves your full attention; kinda like when I was back at university and took a course in HKR...so much focus required!
Ive got a few of these books, each one focusing on a different aspect of mothering. I picked them up in Portugal though they're published in Canada. The conference I was speaking at was organized by the same people who are involved with this journal. Definitely academic.My friend and co-worker gave me the next couple to read. I tend to put off those books that others recommend, given that everyone has different tastes. For this reason I've yet to open them. That will change tonight though given that Im down to only a few active books.
There's also a book that we're reading at work. I know I haven't yet discussed what it is Im now doing but Ill get to that in the next couple of days. The book is called "Incarnate Leadership" and we're almost through. We spend the first half hour of our weekly staff meetings doing a little study where we discuss each chapter. Being the new person and the lowest in rank, I dont contribute much. I would have added a pic, but blogger kinda sucks right now. And that's it; my reading list. You're welcome :P
Friday, May 13, 2011
euphoria
Maybe there's a silver lining in our monthly battle with pms.
A bit oxymoronic, isn't it? I know, but hear me out.
This week Ive been near tears on many occasions, Ive yelled at the kids, Ive fallen down the stairs (it was early morning and I was still half asleep), Ive gotten overly annoyed at the smallest things... this list could go on for awhile.
Today however, it seems the birds are singing and life is once again OK. The only difference is (TMI warning) that Im no longer dealing with the "pre" in pms. Im full into the "m" and couldn't be happier.
Maybe it's just me. Maybe my slant towards the super hormonal means that I just have it worse. I don't have a lot of physical symptoms (other than the sleeplessness) but the depression is a killer. Just last night I cried myself to sleep because of an irrational fear that I would die and my kids would become separated. Today? Im good. Its alll gooood. C'est la vie! The pressure that has bound me all week has been released and life is once again beautiful.
So I ask again; was going through this week worth this reminder of how good life can be?
Perhaps.
Just don't ask me again in three weeks.
A bit oxymoronic, isn't it? I know, but hear me out.
This week Ive been near tears on many occasions, Ive yelled at the kids, Ive fallen down the stairs (it was early morning and I was still half asleep), Ive gotten overly annoyed at the smallest things... this list could go on for awhile.
Today however, it seems the birds are singing and life is once again OK. The only difference is (TMI warning) that Im no longer dealing with the "pre" in pms. Im full into the "m" and couldn't be happier.
Maybe it's just me. Maybe my slant towards the super hormonal means that I just have it worse. I don't have a lot of physical symptoms (other than the sleeplessness) but the depression is a killer. Just last night I cried myself to sleep because of an irrational fear that I would die and my kids would become separated. Today? Im good. Its alll gooood. C'est la vie! The pressure that has bound me all week has been released and life is once again beautiful.
So I ask again; was going through this week worth this reminder of how good life can be?
Perhaps.
Just don't ask me again in three weeks.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Portugal
Since Im so far behind in blogging, Ill try and get out a few posts before I loose the motivation again...though Im really not promising anything. < ----- Obvious negativity, not the best way to start writing :)
So. Portugal! It all seems so long ago that Im sure Id miss a lot of detail if I tried to actually recount it all, so lets look at some pictures, shall we?
Up there is the Castelo de Sao Jorge
And this is taken from the castelo de sao jorge of the place I was standing to take the other picture :D Over by the corner of the far away white building.
This man was good enough that I bought his CD...really enjoyed it; Pedro Godinho
Belem Tower
That would be me on the right
Monument to the discoveries
This is from Fado house #2
Estroil
Coffee kinda sucks
Off season in Cascais
So. Portugal! It all seems so long ago that Im sure Id miss a lot of detail if I tried to actually recount it all, so lets look at some pictures, shall we?
Up there is the Castelo de Sao Jorge
And this is taken from the castelo de sao jorge of the place I was standing to take the other picture :D Over by the corner of the far away white building.
This man was good enough that I bought his CD...really enjoyed it; Pedro Godinho
Belem Tower
That would be me on the right
Monument to the discoveries
This is from Fado house #2
Estroil
Coffee kinda sucks
Off season in Cascais
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