catching up

Well, hi

It's been awhile

I don't really have a reason for my absence, I just didn't feel like writing. Hopefully that's over and Ill actually get back to regular postings. Maybe. I hate the idea of just letting this blog turn into another one of my forgotten projects.

So, whats new with us?

Chris started preschool and he seems to be doing ok. He doesn't like going each morning but I'm not surprised. He will literally spend his entire day in front of the computer or tv if I let him. The very thought of having to spend an entire morning away from his beloved electronics has him crying and whining until his bus arrives to pick him up. When he gets home, his shoes are barely off before he is asking to play on the computer. Then he gets an hour, maybe a little more before I banish him upstairs to play with his brothers. So far, I think this schedule has really helped him be a little more active and improve his willingness to play with his toys.

I met with Rayden's teacher last week after a kind of crappy report card. It was probably a B average overall, but definitely a drop from his usual grades. Apparently he is having some major behavior issues as well including disrespecting the teachers and vice-principal. We worked out an action plan and hopefully with a little work, we can head this off before it seriously affects his learning and social development. So far, I've had to spend at least an hour each day with just him and I, one-on-one style to get through the massive amounts of work. I'm sure that his drop is related to my inability to find the time to help him as much as he needs. Right now though it has to take priority, so that's what we're doing.

Michael hasn't changed much in the last few months, other than his increasing vocabulary. I don't really know how to describe the changes in his communication because he has always been ahead with it, but he seems to have advanced somehow. I had no trouble understanding his words and desires in the fall but it just seems like its more so now, without any real changes. If that makes any sense.

Josiah has been sick for the last week so that seriously sucks. He is down to a tiny breast feeding session in the middle of the night followed immediately by a bottle. I'm sure we'll drop that one as soon as he is feeling better, but I'm not pushing it. He is still doing his army crawl thing, but with more lifting of the torso. He is all over the living room in no time and I've had to re-train myself not to walk out of the room with him on the floor anymore. We have this small step at the entrance way to the living room and so far he hasn't tried to go over it, but I cant trust that obviously. As for food, he is eating everything other than those obvious choking/allergy things that have to wait.

I've been weird lately. I don't know what it is or how to even describe it. I'm ready to be doing something with my life again and it's hard to just sit around and wait. There are only so many times I can clean out the closets or try to organize the kids toys before I get a little bored with this whole domestic thing. My writing has been as neglected as this blog. I haven't even spent much time with anyone or done anything. I have lots of time on my hands but I just don't feel like doing anything, half the time. Damn, I don't know how to get out of this.

One really great thing to come out of the last couple of weeks is that I started seeing a new guy, Jason. So far it's really going well and I'm happy with it.

But to balance that out, I've been having trouble with P again. I very stupidly asked The Ex if he would contribute something to Chris's birthday party. He didn't respond but I got a text from P telling me not to contact The Ex and obviously they wouldn't be doing anything that would help me out. Duh. How could I even think such a thing? I should have just let it go but I was in a mood and we continued back and forth until she insulted the kids saying how ridiculous it was that Rayden has bed wetting issues* and Chris cant read (he's five and just started preschool, I don't see the problem). According to her, those things make me a terrible mother. I doubt it occurred to her that maybe The Ex and even herself would also be responsible for you know, parenting. We're all supposed to be in this together, but apparently they just get to play video games and eat junk food with the kids a couple times each month, leaving me to deal with everything else. She even told me to get my new man to help me with whatever I needed because The Ex was not interested. Because that makes sense. Get the man that I've been seeing for a couple of weeks to do the things their father should be doing. Um, no.

Sometimes I wish they would just walk away and stop causing problems; those kids deserve loving, responsible parents.

So that's what's been happening with us. Im hopeful that some more jobs will be coming available soon and maybe the change of getting back to work will help with my blah feeling.

*Rayden has always had issues wetting the bed but he now goes maybe a month or so between bouts of it where he will do it every night for a few nights. When he sleeps over anywhere or sleeps at The Ex's, he wears good nights to protect the mattress but doesn't need them at home because he has special sheets. I've tried everything (and so did The Ex, when he was around) but nothing seems to help so we are waiting it out. We've talked to doctors and have a fairly painless routine when it does happen, so I don't consider it a problem.