more blahness

It's been two full weeks now but it feels like an eternity. except for a few times when I lost my balance, I haven't put any weight on my right foot since I hurt it. Which means no driving, walking or standing. Basically I either crawl or hop around the house and the two times that I had to go out were nightmares with the crutches. It royally sucks.

I am fully aware that the summer is passing me by. Where I live, you have to take full advantage of the nice days because they will be gone very soon. In fact, we had planned to go camping this weekend and my biggest concern was the weather. Now Im stuck home with a foot that I cant use and it's absolutely gorgeous outside.

The kids have been suffering too. I've let them play outside a little but mostly Im afraid that something will happen and I wont be able to get to them on time. There are no windows where I can sit with my leg up and keep an eye on them either. It's just frustrating. School starts again in three weeks and I may be going back to work full time around then as well. I need this foot to heal but damn it, I have no idea when that will be.

When I was in emerg the second time, the doctor went back and forth as to whether or not to put a cast on my ankle. She knew there was a crack in one of the bones but I had already gone 6 days without a cast and there was no change. From that I got the impression that it wasn't that bad. In the end she decided to cast it and told me that I would hear Monday when I needed to come back to see the orthopedic doctor. He could then decide if I needed a cast or not. So when I got home that night and there was a big crack in the cast as well as a large area that didn't set properly, I thought the whole thing foolish. But then the pain set in. I've never had a cast before but I didn't think they were supposed to be painful. If I didn't keep my leg completely straight, the cast would shift and put pressure on all the wrong areas. Before long, I cut that damn thing off.

But now Im wondering. I didn't hear about my appointment until Thursday and now Im forced to go in on Monday, the day that I have an interview on. I don't know if taking the cast off was the right thing to do, but I don't think I could have made it 10 days with that thing anyway. All I want is an idea of how long this is going to take to heal and instructions on how to make that happen. I need to know if the small stretches that I've been doing to keep it loose are OK or if a little weight on it would break it worse. I have absolutely no idea. If the first doctor that I saw hadn't decided to send my x-ray to the radiologist as an after-thought, I would never have known of the break and I would have been putting weight on it now.

Im at the point now where Im considering having someone come in to clean the house. Jason can do some things but his idea of clean is well below mine so I am continually frustrated with the state of the house. My bathroom hasn't been cleaned since the day before I hurt my ankle, that's 15 days people! Jason will spend a couple of hours doing a few things around here every day or two but what takes him an hour, I could do in 15 minutes. He talks about it never ending and all I can think is well, duh! We've been very, very low on food lately and so I have to send Jason out to pick things up every night for supper. The thing is, he spends way too much money on a single meal and never picks up anything else. I even went through the effort to compile a complete list of everything we need, including brands, sizes and prices. Then I set it on the desk with my points cards for the various stores and waited for him to come home from work so that he could go get the stuff. But then the man decided to stop by the grocery store on his way home and spend another $40 on a single meal to save him the effort of going out again, even though I TOLD HIM that I needed him to do a full grocery shop that night.

Don't even get me started on all the errands that I have to run. I cant leave it to him either. I have a cheque sitting here that needs to be deposited into my account but he keeps forgetting to do it and I cant even find another way because he hasn't remembered to give me back my bank card from two weeks ago! I have a bunch of things I need to mail and I have to do the kids' back to school clothes shopping this week.

If only I knew how long I had to stay off my ankle. If it's one more week, then I can deal. I can plan everything for the following week and I can make a reservation at one of the camp grounds for another weekend. We aren't doing any other vacations this year so camping was supposed to be our treat. I can plan out my packing schedule and start buying the few things we'll need for the new house. I can actually envision my house being CLEAN again, and to my standards! We could go to the beach a few more times and check out a few playgrounds. I could show the kids the new house and community we'll be living in.

In the mean time though, Im left to sit here and fret about maybe having to stay like this for another month or two. Then that brings all the worries about how I'd get the kids to school or actually get my house all packed up and cleaned. We have a few repairs around here that need to be done before we leave and a few things that need to be replaced and if I leave it all to Jason, we just wont get it all done. Sitting around and thinking about all of these things is crap for my anxious, obsessive personality and Im sure Im driving everyone nuts.

Until I see the orthopedic doctor on Monday, Im going to continue to make my lists and browse decorating web sites for the new house. I pretty much have everything decided already but maybe there's something I haven't seen yet but would just love. All I know is that I have to keep busy with other things or Ill go insane waiting to walk again.