My oh my it's been awhile since I posted. This whole working outside the home thing is kicking my butt, big time. But Im enjoying it so it's OK. The work week flies by and we really enjoy our weekends at home. It's crazy but I feel like we are spending more quality time together now that we see a lot less of each other. So all things considered, it's going well.

But then there's this blog and my other one. I have to plan ahead just to have a couple hours on Tuesday nights to go to my women's group, which seems to be my limit of personal time each week. I mean right now, I've started to paint two different spaces of the house and then stopped. I could finish them, but Im kind of bouncing around to different things today and right now, Im just not feeling it. Maybe tomorrow I'll get both of them done which would be nice, because that means two more things to write about on my other blog. Im seriously that hard up. I've had a million posts lined up for both of them but when I think about the effort of writing that stuff, I get a little scared. Ah well, priorities, right?

So anywho, thinking back over the last month or so, the biggest thing that stands out is the addition of my new niece! I dont know if Melissa has written anything about it because I do not have access to her blogs anymore. We've barely spoke since last June, but I did get a chance to go by the hospital when the new little miss was born. I cant tell you how precious she is! Squee, Im positively delighted! And now I want another one. I girl this time, please.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Not friggin likely! Four is enough, even if they're all boys.

So to recap; veeeeery busy, happy, new niece, wanting another babes, seriously considering permanent birth control.

The end.

How was your January?

Recognizing my Issues

Jason and I have our issues, just like any couple does. Lately though, it seems like everything is becoming an issue. I know that it's all interconnected and when you're in the middle of an issue, everything else seems kind of worse. It's hard though. It's hard to feel like your partner doesn't care (me) or have your partner yell at you (him) for what seems like weeks at a time.

I know I was PMSing and I know that the combined stress of the holidays/travelling/2 house guests/a throat infection all combined to make me into the crazed woman that I was last week, but holy crap it was bad. I was so upset with Jason and for nothing. I hate it when I get like that, when I KNOW that Im being totally irrational, but I cant seem to stop. All I need at those times is a little space and I can usually regroup and refocus to the point where Im totally OK for awhile.

But last week, my house was FULL and I had no where to go. I felt like all the pressure was on me to cook, clean and entertain everyone. Jason's brother was here and so they were off playing with wood and whatever it is that boys do. He was of little help at a time when it felt like the mess in the house was going to take over. There were two extra adults to cook for but no extra room in the budget. In the end that didn't end up being a problem because Jason's mom likes take out and would order a pizza mid-afternoon. But I still had to plan to feed them which was just added pressure.

At one point, I broke down crying and the only place I could go to be alone was the kitchen. But then Jason came in and tried (unsuccessfully) to help, followed by his mom who took a seat and watched the whole thing.

When a woman is having a moment, the worst thing to do is probably tell her how irrational she is being (or to watch). But that is Jason. He gets grumpy and pissy like the rest of us, but when he's in a good mood (which is a lot of the time) he doesn't understand other people's emotions. He actually told me, while I was standing in my kitchen crying, that nothing in this world is worth getting upset about. Really? That's supposed to help me out? How about leaving me the f*** alone? Maybe THAT would help!

Ahem

This is a big issue for us. Jason is definitely more easy-going and laid back then I am and I can see where we both have to compromise here and try to be a little more even. I need to relax and not freak out if I can't get the house clean enough, or take a few minutes and do what I feel like doing. And Jason needs to take over a little more of the responsibility of the house and step in before I get overwhelmed.

Things are changing around here and Im hoping it'll be for the better. I start work in a couple of hours and Im not going to be the one at home looking after anything anymore. Jason and I have talked about it, but from the way this past weekend has gone, I have my doubts. But Im not going to worry about that. I've set up the slow cooker for supper and Im trying not to think about the dirty bathroom floor or laundry piling up. Instead, Im going to drop the kids off to daycare/school and go off to work. Im going to enjoy my day of meetings and reorienting myself and then Im going to come home and enjoy the evening with my family.

Despite my desire for Jason to DO more, I know that the only way that I'll be more happy with life is if I let go of my need for perfection. Balance is what Im looking for in this new year and Im determined to attain it, but then again, not too determined :P

game nights

This past week, we've implemented an almost nightly game night. Every night before the kids get ready for bed, whoever is available sits down to play a game together. Sometimes that includes all of us, and other times it's just me and the kids or Micah and Noah by themselves. It's been great!

When we moved into this house, we ended up throwing out most of our board games because they were damaged and had so many pieces missing. So this year we made that a priority for Christmas and asked other people to give the kids games as well. I must say that we've done well. After having only three or four games mostly suited for adults, we're a little overwhelmed with all the choices of things to play now.

The Muddled Sage wrote a post a few days ago about her family's favorite board games and so I thought I'd do the same. So far we haven't had the chance to play all of them yet, but I'll still show you what we have.

Zooreka. We've had this game for a year or two and we all enjoy it. The boys can all play it too, which is nice when they're so different in ages.

Scrabble. I actually just bought this for Jason for Christmas. I had a coupon so it ended up only costing me about $2.00 We've played it the last couple of nights after the boys go to bed and it's a lot more enjoyable then I thought it would be. Jason and I usually end up laughing like a couple of kids by the time we're done.

Basttleship. This is one of those games that I can remember playing as a kid and thought the boys would enjoy too. I don't actually remember if we gave this to them or Santa. Hmm....

Thomas' Great Race James got this for Christmas from his grandparents but we haven't played it yet.

Simpsons Monopoly We've had this one for years and it has somehow stayed intact.

An Evening of Murder This is one of those Murder Mystery games. We bought it in the fall but haven't found 6 people brave enough to play it with yet.

Mr Bucket. We gave this one to Jamie this Christmas as well, but still have yet to play it.

Monopoly City is probably one of the most asked for games so far, but once again haven't tried it.

We actually bought Jenga for Micah for Christmas but then Jason's aunt gave the kids a set as well so we just popped ours in the neighbors' kid's gift bag.

Frogger DVD game. I don't even know what this one is about!Earth DVD Game. Same as the Frogger one. I don't even know where these came from, only that they were here on boxing day.

Chess. Micah got this for Christmas, except a bit nicer of a set that he keeps on his shelf in his room.

Hedbanz is seriously fun. The first time we played was with Jason's brother and it was the funniest thing to see him with a cow stuck to his forehead and Jason with a pickle!

Gator Golf. Jamie actually picked this up today with Christmas money from Jason's mom. All the kids love it, even if they do spend most of the time riding the clubs like they're on a horse.

Cranium, Family. We still haven't been able to play this one because it's a little old for our boys. We may be able to pill it out in a year or two though, which would be great.

Cranium, The Ex and I used to play this with friends a few years back and we always had fun. Jason and I are thinking about starting up another game night with friends. This would be a definite hit if we did.
Clue. My all time favorite game. I used to play this with my friend Mary when I was a kid and have kept one for the last few years in my bedroom closet.

A fresh start

Well Im back and I've got a lot to say!

Actually, I don't. There have been a lot of things that I've wanted to blog about over the past couple of months, but Im not going to go into all of them now or I would be here for days.

So Im starting Fresh.

It's a new year with lots of new things happening and that's what I'll focus on, instead of what I've missed.

So first things first, I start work again full time on Monday. I couldn't be more excited! The research project that I've been working part time with for the last three years is hiring me on to help out with some really exciting things. I haven't gone over all of the details with the lead researcher for our site yet, but I know Ill definitely be assisting in arranging a conference that will be happening here in April. I also will be speaking at that conference and possibly another one in Toronto in the summer. There are academic papers being written that I will have a hand in and lots of working with the data that we've been forever collecting. This is so what I want to be doing right now in my life. The only downside is that it's only guaranteed for one semester and then I'll either go back to part time, helping where I can or continue full time until September.

Jason started a new job yesterday. He was laid off the week before Christmas with one week's notice but on his last day, went by another shop and got himself another job. It is the same rate of pay, same hours and in the same area. Instead of installing cabinets though, he's cutting counter top instead. He seemed pretty happy about it yesterday but I think the work is a little more tiring for him. We'll see how it goes. But what a blessing to not even have to go one day being unemployed and yet still have two weeks off for the holidays!

Rayden surprises me everyday with his maturity and confidence. I was raised in a family that believed in support and encouragement and I've tried to give my children the same. We were always taught that we could do anything we wanted, that the only thing standing in our way was ourselves. From the person that Rayden is becoming, I can already see that outlook shining through.

A few years ago he would talk a lot about what sports the other boys played as extra curriculars and what toys they would bring to school. Whatever the fab was, Rayden wanted to be a part of it. And so is normal for children. This year though, he instead talks about his love for guitar and rock climbing, two things that I don't think anyone else in his class takes part in. He knew he had an interest in those things and I was happy to provide the opportunity for him to explore them. He also decided that because of his love of legos, he would be bringing his completed models into school instead of whatever fad toy the other kids were bringing. This morning, on the drive to school, he told me that the other boys are starting to bring in legos as well and that it's becoming a popular toy again in his class. How neat is that? I love that he can stay true to who he is, for now anyway. Who knows what he'll be link when the dreaded teen years take over!

Chris Noah started kindergarten this year and after a little rocky start, he seems to be doing well. He is a math whiz like his brother but still cant recognize letters, in french or English. We're working on that with him.

I've decided to stop using the pseudonyms for the kids, so:

Rayden=Micah
Chris=Noah
Michael=James
Josiah=Owen

So much simpler!

And last, but definitely not least, I've started a new blog! A Girl and her Blog will continue to be about my family and the things I want to record and document. The new blog Decidedly Domestic will be where I talk about my interests in all things domestic. I'll talk about organization, cleaning, do-it-yourself, decorating, gardening, cooking, and the list goes on. I hope you all join me in my newest adventure, and join in the fun.

I'll be back...

So for awhile this blog has been a little off. I started it to document the kids lives and as a place to vent. I was going through some things and needed a non-biased place to discuss what was going on inside my head. Now, all of that is over and it's been months since I really discussed anything to do with the kids. As much as I love the community that I was starting to feel a part of and as often as Im online reading blogs, I've lost the desire to write here. I think it is mostly because I don't know what to write. Or what to write about. I think I need to redefine what I want to use this space for and come back in January with a fresh start. So to anyone who may still be around reading this, I'll be back in about a month with plenty to say.

The one where I ramble a lot and complain about how busy my life is

Things have just been so crazy around here, I barely have a minute to think. Im actually forgetting all sorts of commitments and errands that need to be run. It's madness.

We moved into our new home Sunday officially but were bringing things over since last Monday. The house was in great condition so I didn't have to do much cleaning and that really helped. I did start painting the upstairs bathroom, thinking I would have time to get it finished before we moved in. But that didn't happen. I've done three coats and it needs another one. Then I have to unpack the whole thing. Who knew one family could have four boxes of bathroom stuff? I have no idea how we fit it all in the smaller bathroom in the last house. Sheesh.

Then there was my mother's long-awaited visit. I haven't seen her since last December so I was really looking forward to it. She arrived Tuesday just after four in the afternoon and stayed with me until Yesterday until around two. Less than two days with her just didn't feel like enough but I know I have to share her. From my place, she went to stay with my Aunt for a night, then with Ross and Melissa for a night, then two nights with my other brother, before flying out in the wee hours of Monday morning. Its a tight schedule so I understand, but it was still hard.

We were able to get in some shopping alone together and I don't think I've ever had as much fun. We went for a coffee without the kids, grocery shopping with my younger brother (who just started University and is now living with me), and a career fair, of all places. It was a busy couple of days.

By yesterday I should have heard from my old landlord about getting our deposit back, but instead he hadn't responded to any of my emails in over a week. I was getting really nervous and sent him a final (and somewhat threatening) email about my lease term being up and his responsibility to schedule an inspection. He then calls from his cell phone within an hour to make an appointment for last night. I was already swamped* and hated to take the time then, but wanted it done.

When we actually did the inspection, he pointed out the most ridiculous things and said that I could either re-clean the place or loose my $675 to pay for cleaners. I couldn't believe it. Jason and I spent hours going over that house and he found every little mark on the wall or bit of dust he could. In the kitchen he even checked on top of the cabinets for dust. I was just in shock most of the time and couldn't wait to get out of there. So now I have to go back today somehow with the four kids to fix everything on his list. And the worst part of all of it, is that he may not even give it back when Im done that! I've had to bring a landlord to court before and I will do it again, but it's just annoying.

*Im not sure if I've mentioned this on here, but Rayden and I have started a very large paper route. He wants to go to Florida, like so many of his classmates do every year and because I just can't afford that, we made a plan. If we deliver these papers for a year, we will have saved $5000 and can use that towards any trip we choose. If we continue to deliver them each year, then we can continue to pick a vacation each year and sometimes maybe a couple of smaller ones. The only problem is that it's 460 flyers and both last week and this week, they were really late getting to us, causing our whole schedule to go out of whack. If it's just Rayden and I, we can do the whole lot in about six hours and for $100, that's not bad. It's one day a week in exchange for a vacation every year. I think it's a win for everyone involved, but just a little annoying when there are so many other things going on.

And to top this whole week of madness off, one of my brothers had a cat that caused his allergies to go crazy. He put up with her for so long but in the end decided that she was too much and asked me to take her. Now, I have a cat myself and Jason has two. Adding another cat into the mix seems like a bit too much if you ask me, but I couldn't say no. If I didn't take her, then she would have ended up at the humane society for a little visit and if no one adopted her, she would be destroyed. That was too much to bare and so I took her in. We now have four cats, four kids and three adults in this house; so much for getting some extra room!

Now here it is Friday morning and Im looking forward to the weekend. We have another 230 flyers to deliver today and swimming lessons both today and tomorrow, but then the kids go with their dad for a night and I get to see my mom again at a BBQ. It's going to be a quiet weekend of Jason and I getting our new home in order. Except. Jason's mom just called and she is on her way in for the weekend!!! We knew that she might come out Saturday with her man, but we didn't think she would be staying with us. Apparently that's not the plan though. So there goes my relaxing weekend as now I have to spend the next three hours before they arrive, getting as much unpacked as I can. The blankets and sheets that my mom had for the pull-out couch haven't even been washed yet and I can't find any pants for the two year old.

Wish me luck!

tired

Man, I just don't even know what to say. There has been so much going on and so much to talk about but I never feel like doing the actual writing of this blog lately. Im all blah I guess. Seems to be a theme sometimes around here.

We move this coming Sunday. I am in love with my house, it is the nicest place that either Jason or I have ever lived in. Im beyond excited! We went there yesterday to get the key and while everyone else was inside, Jason and I were in the back garden talking about how this house feels too nice for us. It seems like a dream. Its a strange feeling, really. We don't own the house and are in fact just renting, but it feels like ours. We can stay there for the next five to seven years if we choose, and we are allowed to do whatever work we feel like doing in terms of upkeep. Jason is excited to paint the decks and fix the crown molding in the bathroom. Im excited to pick my own damn paint colors (which I already have, more on that later) and tend to my own gardens. It'll be amazing.

Before then though, we have a lot of work to do. I've bought paint for a couple of the rooms and Id like to get that on the walls before we move in. But we also have a lot of work to do around our current house before we meet the landlord for the final inspection. We've repaired the damage to the walls but we still have to paint over those spots. The carpet has a few stains that need an industrial steam cleaner (my job for today), one of the blinds in a bedroom has been broken and the new one has to be installed, the fridge/stove top/dishwasher have to be cleaned and I have to go over all of the walls with a magic eraser. Im tired just thinking about it and the fact that I want to spend every moment in the new house now, makes it all the harder. But Im happy in the direction that our lives are going so I don't mind putting in the hard work to get there.

All in all, Im happy and excited, but also tired. Hopefully I'll get around to posting a bit more in the next week before I loose internet for a couple of days.