Saturday, September 13, 2008

My much needed rant

The Ex is a bastard. Yes I can use that term because he really is. The things that he has put the kids and I through qualify him for that title like no other. Today while watching Rayden and Chris in taekwon do I got a text message from The Ex telling me that he doesnt want me to ever contact him again. I was like WTF? Its not like I call this guy up to chat. I discuss things related to the kids and thats it. Even then, I only use text message or the occasional longer message on facebook because I dont want to hear his voice. If it wasnt for the kids, Id never want to lay eyes on this man again. I've seriously wondered if they would be better off without him in their lives, but really that isnt my decision to make. As long as he doesnt abuse them in any way then I cant keep him from their lives.

Last year he decided that he didnt want to get out of bed to pick them up so he wasnt going to see them that day. He blamed it on the snow that had fallen the night before and said that he couldnt get out of his driveway. I however called his bluff and drove the kids to his house instead. Well the driveway was perfectly clear when I pulled in and he was none too pleased with me for showing up. All I did was bring the kids to the door and tell him I would be right back with the car seats so he could bring them back to me later. Instead of being NORMAL about it, he instead PUTS HIS HANDS AROUND MY NECK and screams at me to get off his property. Naturally, I did just that BUT with the kids in tow. There was no way I was leaving them there with that kind of anger. The judge though at our next custody hearing just IGNORED it all together and treated me like an idiot for trying to have supervision during the times him and I would be in the same room.

Things had finally seemed to be getting better between us and we were acting great together around the kids. His fiance and I were even chatting during pick ups/drop offs. So this message came out of no where. He said that Ive been contacting him too much and that he doesnt want to hear from me other than when he picks up the kids. Thats great really. I just dont get what prompted it. Rayden has been calling him about every little thing lately and sometimes he hands the phone to me to explain something like the directions to taekwon do. ITS NOT LIKE I CALL HIM, Rayden does. I think he may just be pissed off that Rayden's Wii has to come back now. He and I both paid half so that Rayden could have a Wii for his bday last month. The Ex gave it to him during a visit and then it came here to my parents house. Because of the way this house is set up, I didnt really have much supervision of its use and it ended up getting broken right away. We got it replaced and The Ex and I both decided that it would be better at his place until I had my own house again and could better watch it. Well last week Rayden asked him about it and he said that it wasnt coming back. When I was informed of this little change from Rayden, I told him that I would have to talk to his dad about it. So then Rayden calls up The Ex and tells him that Mommy is going to have a talk with him about the Wii. Totally the wrong thing to do. You really have to be delicate how you bring things up with this man or they blow up in your face. I have no idea if Ill ever see that Wii again now and because he didnt give me a receipt for the half I paid, I dont have a leg to stand on. Grrr, this man frustrates me to no end!

He doesnt pay a penny in support. He is supposed to pay about $400/month but hasnt paid anything yet. I applied to court last July about it and it still has not been heard. The upside is that when it does go through, he will owe me everything from the day I applied for it. So far it is up to over $5000. The new big screen tv that he bought last week is just going to have to go back I guess! He told the mediator (the first step in this province is to see a mediator) that it would cause undue hardship for him to have to pay support because he was going to be having another baby and he would have to support her. Now that he is spending money on expensive clothes and tvs though, that argument goes out the window!

First thing Monday, Im going back to that court house to get this custody thing settled once and for all. Im sure that since I didnt make it to court in time to get our new arrangement of every other weekend made official, it wont even happen. The hardest part is that at any moment, this man can change everything and if I try to do anything about it, Im the bad guy.


Astarte said...

What can a person say to that?! Good grief. If this makes you feel any better at all, my father skanked out on his payments for almost eighteen years, but in the end my mother found him and he had to pay it all back. It was a lot of money, even with the fact that she basically gave him half-off of it so she wouldn't have to go to court about it. I know you really need that money, and I hope you start getting it soon.

I wouldn't be surprised if this latest phone-contact freakout was started by his new fiance/wife being post-partum hormonal about him talking to you too much.

Swistle said...


donna said...

I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. What a jackhole.