Friday, October 3, 2008


Rayden: "When I grow up Im going to make this thing that you use for your car for when like the battery is dead and its an mp3 player. And, um its like covers the whole car and you just plug your car into it and it is invisible and it charges the battery while you listen to music."

Me: "But where would it get the energy from?"

Rayden: "Well, when Im an adult I'll be a lot more smart and so I'll be able to figure it out."

Ha! That was on the way to school this morning. Last night I was just about to call the kids for dinner when I saw their dad coming up the driveway. Rayden had asked him the day before if he could come pick them up one evening for a little visit, but his dad had already made plans and could possibly do it on Thursday. I didn't hear another word about it and had completely forgotten, which really sucked because I had spent so much time cooking and then had to eat alone. The visit was only for an hour and because he was short on time The Ex asked me to pick them up from his place, on the other side of the city. Really all I did was have my dinner and check a few websites before having to pack Owen into the car and head out to pick them up. It was more of an inconvenience than anything; until I got there.

Ive mentioned before about The Ex's Fiance (we'll call her P now that she is becoming a recurring character), about how her and I have been getting along better and blah blah blah. Well last night she wasn't home and after I got the kids buckled into the car, I asked The Ex what was going on and why he was suddenly acting so harsh towards me. Well, was I surprised when he said that it was P! I've known this guy for a long time and I think I can read him and know when he is telling the truth. He said that a lot of the text messages from his phone are actually P and that she often takes his phone to check up on him. Wow, do they have some trust issues! But back to the story. Apparently, P is really threatened by any contact that The Ex and I have. Even though everything we talk about is kid-related, she still gets jealous and causes trouble for him. I have noticed that he is fine when he is alone picking up the kids but that when P is there, it is all drama. So anyway us having no phone contact is her rule and he is just trying to keep the peace. So it has been worked out that if I need to contact him it will be while he is at work so that she doesn't know. Whatever works, really.

He also mentioned that P and his parents are not getting along because his family wants to include Josiah so that he doesn't feel left out of things that his brothers will be included in. Ive been feeling like they all just want me to go away so that there is no drama but apparently, they are fine with me and Josiah and it is P that is having all the problems. So The Ex was all trying not to be insulting but saying that he wont be investing any emotional energy in Josiah because it would cause issues between him and P but that his family is pushing for that. Man what a situation. He didn't know that Josiah has a sister and that we are trying to work that out so that he has his own other family. Hopefully that knowledge can be relayed and possibly ease some of the tension.

At the end of our conversation I also asked what the hell was up with the Wii and you know he even tried to tell me that Rayden wasn't responsible enough to look after it so it would only come home on special occasions. So I responded with 1) the Wii is Rayden's and so it should stay with him, 2) The adults are responsible for its safe use, not the children and 3)I know that he wants the opportunity to play it too, but that we both paid for it. I have been so worried about this conversation but because P wasn't there, we were able to talk completely normal. So in the end we decided that it will come here this weekend when he brings the kids home and it will stay here for two weeks. Then when the kids go to his place again at the end of those two weeks, it will go back to his place. So like two weeks here, two weeks there but always there when the kids are there. Im fine with this although I hate the idea of packing it up all the time.

All in all, the conversation went over really well and we both were able to see where the other one was coming from. On the way there I was thinking about how important he was in my life for so long and that I will always love him in a way. Not like I did and not like I'd ever want to be with him again; but in a nostalgic, childhood friend kind of way. When I was standing there with him though it was like he wasn't even the same person. He didn't look like he did when we were together. That seems really weird because his looks haven't changed, but I guess I just looked at him differently. That relationship is really dead and he is just like any other person that I may talk to. I would compare the way I see him now to some of the other parents in Rayden's class; I know them and speak with them, but I don't really know all that much about them and don't make a point to talk to them unless the opportunity arises. Last year when I found out that he and P were dating, I could not imagine being where I am now with it. I am so glad though that things have worked out how they have and he and P are together. Now all I need is a man for myself and we'll all be happy! :P


Astarte said...

Wow, I'm really glad that this went so well for you!!! P was probably only being nice to you to figure out what your feelings were towards the Ex, and also in a way to control you, as well. Whatever the reason, it sounds like you're being really healthy about this.

Kristi said...

Isn't Rayden cute!! I lvoe his imagination!

No offense, but P sounds like a biotch! The Ex seems like he's trying to do the right thing by the kids, and any woman who tries to discourage that isn't really worth it, in my opinion.

At least you and the Ex can handle this so well!!

Jay said...

Phew, I'm glad it went as well as it did. Exes are complicated enough without working new fiancees into the pictures!