I just got an email reply from M. I sent him one last night after a short msn conversation yesterday afternoon. This is the email he sent today:
"I'm sorry, you're not going to like this but not long after I returned home I was set up on a blind date by a couple of mutual friends of mine and hers. We hit it off and have been on a date since and have plans to go out again on Wednesday. Albeit neither one of us wants to rush into a relationship, I cannot deny that I am dating. Where this goes I don't know its too early to tell for either of us but I have no interest in seeing anyone else.
I don't know how to say this without coming off harsh but I have to be honest I don't think we have a chance even if I wasn't dating someone now. I don't know what it is, I just don't have that feeling for you at least not the way you do for me. I thought I did once but I know we're not meant to be."
The first thing I did when I read this was cry. Then I called my mom and talked for an hour. Now Im here...and that's pretty much the order that I deal with everything in lately.
I want to be upset and mad almost but I know that is silly. His message was very direct like I asked him to be but it still stung. I had a suspicion that he was seeing someone and I wanted to know for sure...and now I know. What more do I want? Im upset that he told me he had the same feelings for me but never really did. I've known that there was no chance anymore with him but I didn't want to give up hope. There is no getting around it now. He very clearly does not want to be in a relationship with me anymore.
Wow, how did I turn into 'that' girl?