Tuesday, November 4, 2008

down, not up!

My dress arrived today. I had just walked out the door to run some errands when I saw it in the mail box so I was disappointed to have to wait to try it on. When I did finally get home I rushed right into my bedroom and tried to throw it on only to find that it was too small. I noticed at first that it made my hips stick out really weird but then I couldn't even get the zipper to go up past by boobs.

I felt so discouraged and wondered if I had possibly gained some weight back so I climbed on my scale only to find that I have gained a whopping 7lbs in the last two weeks! Holy Hell Batman! Ive always bounced around with my weight but that is a really big jump for such a short time and it has me worried. Ive totally let my diet go and I haven't exercised in awhile so it really isn't a mystery as to where the lbs came from but still. I thought I could slack for a little while and maybe just stay where I was instead of losing; I didn't think Id actually gain.

So now Ive got those extra 7 so get rid of as well as the 1 that I still had to lose to hit my 50lbs mark. My target weight is now 28 lbs away and that feels like an impossible goal at the moment. I know I need to re-evaluate and re focus on my weight loss goals and not give in to the feelings of failure, but that is seriously hard. According to my calendar, if I were to get serious again and lose 2 lbs each week, I would have my 28lbs gone by the first few days in February. That seems doable. If I were to go a little slower and loose 1 lbs each week, I would hit my target weight in the second week of May. This also seems doable. I don't want to pressure myself to loose too much in too little time because I know I wont stick with it but Im also so sick of being overweight. It took 3 years to get to that 49lb mark and right before I actually hit the 50, I ended up hitting a snag. I want to feel that victory and I want to feel the even bigger one of hitting my target weight.

I know that weight isn't the best way to measure any of this either, but it helps to have an actual number that you can see and work with. I have no idea how many extra inches I have on me and so saying I want to loose 4 inches off my waist isn't really accurate. I could guesstimate but that isn't really productive.

I think the first step is to pass on anymore Halloween junk and get back on track with eating properly. The exercise has always been an issue for me and I tend to find excuses not to do it. My excuse now is that I don't want to drag 4 kids into the Y to get the membership forms that I need to fill out and I never have a good time to go there without the kids. So I just haven't been there to get them even though i started talking about it over a month ago. If I had just done it then, I could have at least started there and the kids and I could go every day if we wanted to.

Ok enough of a rant...I should actually be working on my novel


Swistle said...

Ack, that's so discouraging!

Amanda said...

I like your plan, take it slow and don't put too much pressure on yourself. Which ever way you think will work best for you, you'll figure it out and make yourself proud! Keep your chin up, you are doing great!

Mommy Daisy said...

I think it sounds like you have a great plan. Just try to follow the little steps to get there. You can do it. A set-back for now, isn't for always.

Melissa said...

I totally know what you are talking about with the dress, but it could be the make. Remember the costume I bought and sized myself to a tee for but ended up being to HUGE!!!! But I like the idea of slowly doing it also, it's awesome that you don't mind waiting that long. Can't say I would, lol... Good luck with it all!!! xo

Kristi said...

I have this constant battle with the same 4 pounds!!! Gain it. Lose it. Gain it. Lose it. It's so frustrating because I can't get past this point to reach my actual target!!